Today was the day we’ve been waiting for. Time has flown, and yet at the same time I can feel each second ticking by, so slow, one after the other. It has been emotional day…

We finally heard from Riley this afternoon about our genetic testing results. Jeremy and myself are both carriers of a recessive mutated EARS 2 gene which when put together, presents as Leigh’s Disease. Every child we would possibly conceive in the future would have a 1 in 4 chance of being born with Leigh’s Disease. Because of this fact, it is the recommendation of the doctors that we should not try to have any more children naturally, since Leigh’s Disease is a death sentence. If we still want to try to have our own children we will need to have IVF if we want a guarantee they will be disease free.

This has been a pretty devastating blow to say the least. We knew that it was a 99% chance that this would be the results, but to know for sure that we can never try to have any more children on our own is just crushing. I couldn’t stop crying at work today, so I went home early. I appreciate my coworkers so much as they have been so supportive. Sometimes you just need people to hug you and cry with you, and they did just that for me today.

There are just so many different emotions we are experiencing right now… sadness, guilt, fear, uncertainty… when will we ever get to be parents again? What if I accidentally get pregnant and have to bury another child? Why do we keep receiving knockdown, after knockdown?

While we may not have any answers, and may never have some of them, we are trying to face our new knowledge with courage. Whenever I feel like giving up I look at my Lincoln bracelet. That little boy showed this momma what it truly means to be strong and courageous. If my 5 month old son can fight with all his strength until his final breath, than so can I. We are going to make him one proud baby!

Please continue to pray for us and our families as we process this news and what it means for our family. We appreciate all the love and support more than we could ever let you know. I ask also that you will consider donating to Lincoln’s Research fund. You can do so by clicking the link above on the menu bar. The money goes to developing life prolonging treatments and hopefully someday a cure. Our son will help future little ones and maybe keep other mommies and daddies from saying goodbye so soon. Love to you all.

My Lincoln bracelets