Happy Birthday Big Brother.

September 17, 2019September 17, 2019 / stephhuff / 1 Comment

Finleigh knew this was a day for her brother from the moment she woke up this morning. She has a musical seahorse just like Lincoln’s (he loved it so much he was buried with it) that she sleeps with every night. It stays in her bed during the day, but today she wanted to play the music and carry it around all morning which she has never done before.

There are a few high shelves in Finleigh’s room that have some of Lincoln’s belongings as well as the angel bear that Riley gave me to hold right after Lincoln passed. I carried it all that day and slept with it for awhile. When Finleigh got up from her nap she specifically pointed to it, said “bear?” and wanted Daddy to get it down. We’ve not let her play with that bear because we don’t want anything to happen to it and the shelf is high enough she doesn’t really pay attention to what’s up there. She was adamant to have that bear and proceeded to hug it, carry it around, feed it and have it go potty.

She wanted to bring it with us when we headed to the cemetery and we just couldn’t say no so off we went. Finleigh was so sweet helping decorate for her brother’s birthday placing flowers and setting up the pin wheel.

She has a special connection with her brother ❤️

We finished off the night with a beautiful lantern for our birthday boy.

Our day is finally at an end, 6 birthdays celebrated.

I’m so jealous of Grandpa Freddie who made it just in time for your heavenly party baby. I know he gave you all the updates on your little sister and how much we all love and miss you. I know he was so excited to see you. Mommy, Daddy and Sissy can’t wait to celebrate with you in person for the first time someday Bubby! We love you forever!

💚HAPPY 6th BIRTHDAY LINCOLN 💚

Merry Christmas Lincoln

December 25, 2014December 25, 2014 / stephhuff / 4 Comments

My Dearest Lincoln,

Oh how I wish we would be together today my little love… and every day. The ache of missing you goes way down deep in Mommy’s heart. It just doesn’t feel like Christmas without your smiling face.

Do you remember your first Christmas? Mommy and Daddy were so exited! We all slept together in our new Christmas jammies from Gramma and Grampy Marley. Daddy woke up first and just couldn’t wait before he woke us up! You had the sweetest little “Baby’s first Christmas” stocking. We got you a little first Christmas book and Daddy read it to you right away. We had such a wonderful first Christmas morning together as our family of three.

Christmas morning 2013

To Lincoln
Love, Mommy and Daddy

Daddy reading to Linky

What is Christmas like in heaven Bubby? I never dreamed that you would meet Jesus before me. You have accomplished so much and changed so many lives in your short time with us. You still are changing lives baby. It makes me very happy to know that you are in a safe place and are being well taken care of until I’m with you. Grandpa Robert, I’m sure, has his hands full. Are you singing praises to God with the angels? I can’t wait to hear your wonderful voice sing. I always wondered what it would sound like, I’m sure it is just beautiful.

We decorated your resting place for the holidays. You even have your very own little tree. Aunt Rachel made an ornament for you with a pretty pinecone and green ribbon. All your little friends had very pretty decorations too.

Ready for Christmas

Mommy and Daddy are trying their best to make you proud and share your story with as many as we can. You are our hero Lincoln. You have made me the proudest Mommy I could ever be. I dream of when we will all be together again someday… Tell Jesus to help Mommy and Daddy be strong. We love you so much, and more and more everyday, just as if you were here because in a way you still are; you are living on in our hearts.

Merry Christmas my love.

XOXO, Mommy

Memorial Day 2014

May 26, 2014May 26, 2014 / stephhuff / Leave a comment

Missing Lincoln so much as we move into these beautiful warm days. I remember how I couldn’t wait for warmer weather, and the cute little outfits I would be buying. I specifically wanted to get him a little pair of swimming trunks with a swim shirt…

We visited the cemetery today, and there were so many people there. There were other people in the baby section as well when we were there, and it was sad to know that they have experienced the same deep pain of saying goodbye that we have… I wanted to give them a hug. It was a gorgeous day and there were so many flowers and flags and sunshine, it was so nice for all the visitors.

We went to my parents house for a cookout; very yummy. It really shows that Lincoln is missing when we have our family get together. We try to do something special to honor his memory, and include him in the festivities. Today we planted an Apple tree on my parents property in the country. It was my dad’s idea, and it was so awesome! We are going to add flowers around the base and something with his name. I’m so happy to have yet another reminder of his impact and sweet memory. I love you Bubby!

Positioning the apple tree

Mommy and Daddy with Lincoln’s Memory Tree

Grandpa with Lincoln’s Memory Tree

Mother’s Day – Empty Arms, Full Heart

May 11, 2014May 12, 2014 / stephhuff / 4 Comments

This is not how I imagined my first Mother’s Day would be… but who ever, when dreaming of their lives, would imagine such tragedy would be a part of their near future? So I join the ranks of mommies who have to experience Mother’s Day with their only child in heaven…

I’ve decided I am going to be gentle with myself today… I decided not to attend church today because I did not want to throw myself in that situation, seeing all the mommies with their little kiddies… just too hard right now.

I did get to experience one Mother’s Day with Lincoln while I was pregnant. I was so excited to be a mom, and couldn’t wait to meet my little fella. I dreamed about the future Mother’s Days where we would celebrate together, not knowing that this would be our only one. I’m glad that I had those days of unknowing bliss that I could dream of our life with Lincoln, even though none of those days will come to be on this earth. I am so thankful for Lincoln, and him making my dreams of motherhood come true.

First picture of mommy and Bubby after leaving hospital

Jeremy bought me this little statue for Mother’s Day, and it rings so true to my heart. I fought for Lincoln, and protected and cared for him with all my might while he was here with us. And while it was incredibly difficult, I know that the ultimate protection of him was giving him back to the One who had blessed me with him in the first place.

~ The Guardian ~

When we were told at Riley that it was time to stay by Lincoln’s bedside, I held him for hours that night. I didn’t know when would be the last time. I told him over and over again, that we had a bond that could never be broken. The connection between my son and I was so precious, so strong. I knew that even if he left this world, our hearts would always be one.

So, as I write, even though my tears are flowing and my hands are shaking, my heart is full. Full of love for my son, and full of the expectation and hope that we will be united again. And when we have that reunion, it will be eternal. So for now, my heart is already in heaven, because my son and my Savior are there.